User blog comment:Anobi/If I made a DMC game.../@comment-775152-20120518180021/@comment-4720688-20120520030235

Okay, idea. *puts on best story-teller voice*

''Django swings his increasingly battered parking meter once again at the massive flaming lizard before him. His irritation grows as the inadequate makeshift weapon merely glances off the beast's burning scales without leaving a mark. The lizard gives a rippling hiss of laughter. "Okay, Brimstone-breath, let's see how you like THIS!" Django growls, incensed by his enemy's amusement. He flips the meter in his grip and smashes the end against the pavement to dislodge the clinging chunks of concrete, the flattens the end of the pole into a wedge (somehow). Hefting the meter like a javelin, he hurls it at the lizard's burning yellow eye. The beast thrashes and howls in pain and rage as the orb is destroyed, lava-like blood and steaming vitreous spattering across the ground; its whipping tail sends a parked SUV flying like a matchbox car.''

"Nice job, kid," a voice says.

Django looks around, then sees the voice's owner, a man in red leather perched on the facade of the barber shop behind him, twirling a silver .45 around one finger.'' "What the Hell?" thinks Django. "He looks like ME!" And indeed the man does, with the same platinum hair and silvery blue eyes that attracted so many taunts in the group homes Django grew up in.''

''"Nice job," the man repeats. "But it looks like you don't have a weapon anymore. And Godzookie here-" he waves his gun at the raging lizard, "isn't quite dead yet. So what are you gonna do now?"''

''Django quickly looks back at his enemy. "Aw hell," he curses, preparing himself for a lethal assault.''

''But the lizard has lost interest in him, at least for the moment. Catching sight of the man in red with its good eye, it shrieks. "Sssson of Sssspardaaa!" it hisses with a mixture of fear and excitement. Ambition glitters in its eye. Bypassing Django completely, it launches itself at the man, trying to scramble onto the roof to face him. It is only partially successful, and is left tenuously clinging to the edge of the facade with one limb. It has time for only one slash of its claws before the roof collapses groaning under the weight of the lizard's massive bulk.''

''"Damn it, that was my favorite shirt!" the man complains, examining the smoking rents in the cloth. The skin beneath seems untouched. He pulls the shreds of fabric from his torso and tosses them over his shoulder in disgust. "Hey kid, catch!" From behind his back he pulls a massive broadsword with a skeletal crossguard and flings it to Django.''

''Django catches it easily, and makes a couple of passes with it to test its balance. Satisfied, he lunges forward, bringing the blade down in front of him. The lizard's forked tongue flies through the air, trailing droplets of liquid fire, and gouts of blood spray from the beast's screaming mouth. Django grins. "This is way better than a parking meter."''

Cutscene ends, boss fight resumes.

''The fiery reptile tries to scurry backwards, away from the advancing Django. It knows its already dead. "You'll pay for thisss, human. The princcce will-"''

Not interested in threats, Django silences it by jumping high in the air to bring the red man's sword stabbing down through the top of its skull. "Shut up," he orders the cooling corpse, jerking the blade from its head and hopping down to the ground.

He's about to walk away when the lizard's body collapses in on itself, turning to an orb of sunset-colored radiance. It floats toward him and hovers at arms' length. Curiously, Django stabs the stranger's sword into the asphalt and reaches out to the orb. It flashes brilliantly, blinding him for a moment. When he can see again, he finds himself holding a long, red-bladed sword with a split tip. After examining it closely, he swings it in a figure eight to test the balance, and smiles. Even better than the stranger's blade. He lashes out with blinding speed, and the front of the diner in front of him is rent in two from top to bottom, the edges of the gash crackling with flames. A few more cuts and the whole building is reduced to rubble.

He senses movement behind him and whirls with the red blade raised; sparks fly as it meets the stranger's sword. "Not bad, kid," the man in red smirks, then steps back and returns his sword to its place on his back. "Well, see ya." He gives a sloppy salute and disappears down the street.

Django stares after him in bafflement, then heads off in the other direction with his new weapon over his shoulder to his appartment to collect his gear.

When he's nearly out of sight, a shadowed figure emerges from an alley and climbs onto the rooftop the man in red had appeared on. This is Foxfire, but the camera only shows her from behind. ''She stoops to collect the shreds of the red man's shirt, and holds them out to someone unseen. A ghostly canine specter slowly shimmers into sight and sniffs at the fabric and whuffs softly. "That way?" the figure asks. The specter whuffs again, and the two jog off after the man in red.''

End cutscene/mission.

How's that?